Goal: To help you date and marry well, so you can start and build a healthy, strong, and Godly marriage.
Stages
1. Before we talk about finding someone else, we need to start with YOU:
a. You need to be genuinely saved by Jesus and born again:
- What does it mean to be: genuinely saved by Jesus and born again?
- How to know if you’re genuinely saved by Jesus and born again
- Why being genuinely saved by Jesus and born again is important for having a healthy and strong marriage
- The steps to take to be genuinely saved by Jesus and born again. Start now.
b. You need to be living a lifestyle of holiness to God – i.e. a lifestyle of pleasing God daily:
- What it really means to live a lifestyle of holiness before God
- Why living a lifestyle of holiness to God is important for having a healthy and strong marriage
c. You need to be actively plugged in & engaged in a COMMUNITY (ideally in-person) of people who preach and practice a lifestyle of holiness to God
- How a holy community helps you date well, marry well, and build a strong and healthy marriage
- How to find real communities and churches that actually live holy in a world of comfortable christianity
d. You need to be preparing yourself practically for a healthy and strong marriage
- You need to be mentally prepared for marriage – Essential mindsets you must build before marriage: A practical, God‑rooted guide to a healthy, strong marriage
- You need to have a reliable source of income, a way to consistently make money, a viable career path. Why you need a reliable source of income for a healthy and strong marriage | Why every woman needs a reliable source of income and career path for a healthy and strong marriage
- If you’re a man, you need to study and know how to please your future wife. Why it’s important to know how to please your future wife – to have a healthy and strong marriage (Even if you’re truly born again and live a daily lifestyle of holiness to God) | How to please your (future) wife
- If you’re a woman, you need to study and know how to please your future husband. Why it’s important to know how to please your future husband – to have a healthy and strong marriage (Even if you’re truly born again and live a daily lifestyle of holiness to God) | How to please your (future) husband
2. Create your list
- How to create an effective list – Dealbreakers (what the other person must have); Optional (nice-to-have’s); Knowing what you want, and knowing why you want it
- Sample list – for men
- Sample list – for women
3. Start building friendships, and start interacting with people in & outside of the holiness-focused communities
- Be friendly, but also clear and focused early on.
- Know what to look for, and what to watch out for in choosing your spouse.
- How to move from friendships, and decide someone could be a prospective spouse
Examples of communities: Look for in-person and online communities of saved and holy singles – everywhere, who are practicing practical holiness to God daily.
4. As you narrow down the options, how to know if they’re the one / the perfect will of God for you
- What does the perfect will of God in marriage look like – in modern times?
- How to vet him/her. Ask the tough questions, don’t be afraid of the answers.
What to look for:
- holiness (Godly character)
- compatibility
- companionship
- Important questions to ask yourself; and to ask them – very early on
5. You choose and have decided on someone
- Next: Courtship – how, steps, deeper questions to ask, deeper things to know
- Steps to officially tie the knot and officially become husband and wife