Here’s a sample list you can use as a man to find the right woman to date and marry – so you can start and build a strong and healthy marriage.
Dealbreakers (Non‑Negotiables)
- She’s genuinely saved by Jesus and born again
- She’s living a daily lifestyle of practical holiness to God – i.e. a lifestyle of pleasing God daily. No secret sins, no double life – no hard heart, no stubbornness, pure, no lust, no vices, teachable, respects men, has a servant heart, believes in full submission to her husband, fully emotionally disciplined and matured, long-term holiness patterns, stays away from popular Western culture traits – feminism, TikTok/celebrity lifestyle, soft girl, travel, aesthetics, etc., consistent, disciplined, and so on.
- She’s actively plugged in & engaged in a community (ideally in-person) of people who preach and practice a lifestyle of holiness to God
- She’s mentally and physically prepared for marriage. That is, she has the right mindsets of what builds a strong & healthy marriage; she knows and is fully ready to apply the principles and best practices on how to please her husband
- She has a reliable source of income, clear direction, can manage money well, and a track record of effort and discipline
- She has no unresolved baggage—no hidden past issues, absent father wounds, effects from mother who hates men, controlling mother, interfering family, destructive family expectations, or physical/mental conditions that could destabilize the marriage
Optionals (Nice-to-Haves)
- Beautiful and petite.
- Intelligent and smart, ideally with an advanced degree.
- Curvy, plump, or heavy-set—but not unhealthy or obese.
- Younger (around 25).
- Race: white, born and grew up in the South.
And here’s how to prepare your own list, what to prioritize and what not to focus too much on.